Do you think that when we are sad we need to just let-it-go or get-it-out once and for all so we can move on?
I don't think so actually.I find that even after letting-it-out you settle into this unspoken sorrow. The type that just hangs over you. Long and silent. There's no immediately getting better after that. So instant back to normal. This heavy heavy sorrow that follows you. Somehow you cant cry anymore. Tears are emotions of the moment, this is not a momentary sadness, this lingers. Then suddenly unsuspectingly, small little things trigger a sudden wave of intense feelings. The brochure of the trip we took together, the ducks at river torrens, the footy on tv.
='(

='( I can't seem to get out of it

I wouldnt advise anyone to get in a long distance relationship. I think its sad when there's this one special I most want to be with and yet I cant. Sighs.

I find living on my own out here really makes me more focus, more compartmentalised, more stoic, stronger.

Emo =(

Hello my dears! My assignments are over and it didn't rain today, double joy! =D
I'm sorry for all the emo blogposts these few days, and I'm really sorry if I may have said somethings that were offensive. I was feeling a bit down, and sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

Anyway I still want to continue updating this blog with my little loves. So anyway the other day I chanced upon this totally cute theory. Every girl will fall into one these categories: pretty, cute, beautiful or hot.

So I was thinking about the girl celebs that I am particularly fond of.

First love is Audrey Tautou, best know for Amelie, recently breathtaking in the Chanel ad. She would fall under beautiful. She is by far my fav celeb crush ;)


Second love, purely for her looks alone is Taylor Swift, young as she is, her slightly slant eyes and fine features make her pretty.


Only cute girl i can think of is Kate Hudson ,mainly cause of her sincere genuine goofy smile, and her role in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days =)


An example of Hot is Megan Fox, no explanations needed ;)


So no worries girls, we all fall under one or the other. And they all rock! =)

ROAR. I haven't written a real essay in like, two years. Since my GP days. I do appreciate General Paper a lot. It helped me to broaden my thinking, be more critical and reasonable, sparked an interest in current affairs and in short, is the most useful subject in Alevels. I find I really grew a lot personally from it as well.

After that, I feel as if I could never be afraid of essays anymore. Well, here I am sitting staring at how to construct my only 1000-word with 25% riding on it (!!!) essay. I have had about a month to work on it including research and all. Sighs. Why am I procrastinating this?

Anyway that major assignment was finally completed and presentation over! After that it really feels like holidays already, although a deep wise naggy voice inside me tells me it isn't over until its really over (next week).


Culmination of first semester's work. Although looking at it I can't help but want to faster learn more! I feel that sometimes the architecture school can be quite slow. I keep looking at other first year work from other architecture schools. But we've had an introductory lecture of next sem already and it seems hectic, baby. ;)

There is this hand and digital graphics workshop over the holidays that I want to go. I feel like I have so much more to learn. But...its so expensive! =(

Anyway back to my essay ;)

Soon my holidays will come, they feel well-deserved.

I miss home, especially in the winter nights when there is no warmth to escape to. Sometimes it gets miserable, somestimes its pleasant, mostly depending on my mood.

I'm going to begin taking better care of myself, eat proper food, cook well. I feel adventurous. Carrot cake maybe. I feel like going back to running as well.

I miss my friends. All of them. The ones here with whom I've been cut off with because of my hectic schedule. The ones at home whose messages I haven't been replying for a while, I'm sorry.

I've had lots of time to think, with all this personal space. I've reflected on how I've become more reserved, more selective when it comes to friendships.

I now understand why the heart can so easily move on in long distance relationships. Sometimes its not just the distance, but it a form of defence mechanism to shut down emotions when the distance becomes unbearable.

I've been high. I've been low. Through it all, I'm only learning that I'm a child of grace, the most blessed title to claim.

I was wondering, why do Christians sometimes sin? I thought once we are saved we suddenly realise our despicable sins and hate them the way God hates them. Then shouldn't Christians always hate sin and just not sin? Why do we sometimes choose to sin?

Thank God for His Word that shines light on the dark corners of my heart.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I that live, but Christ lives in me; and the life that I now live I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Clean slate. Declared righteous. Propitiation. How amazing is that. How dark is sin. How God hates it. How I've been offered a clean slate free. Even now, continually being offered that forgiveness. That Amazing Grace.

Although im grateful to be learning about all those beautiful and exotic cities/buildings, at the same time it makes me realise my place in this great big world. Those cities seem so near to me, I hear about them, see pics of them, walk through them, share experiences with other people there, all from education and online. Yet I know just how far away they are. Unreachable due to financial/situational constrains. It seems almost cruel to know so much of this beauty yet never be able to experience it myself.

Dear God, teach me to be content. ='(

A lot of people have been asking me whether I'm stressed lately.
Er. I really have no idea how to answer.
On one hand I have huge pile of assignment work to do. On the other hand I love my work, it's artsy/tedious not difficult/memorise type of work. The former I sit there staring at the blank paper trying to imagine in 3D, the latter the words stare at me trying to embed into my photographic memory. So really my work doesn't fit the normal definition of work.

People here have a strong sense of work/life balance. To them, they must schedule in time for play. But there's a downside in that way of thinking. To see the play as positive and the work as negative, it us them dislike work even more. Sure a balanced life may seem good, but when its off balance (as it so often happens) then we feel unsatisfied/unhappy/unstable.

I remember feeling strongly about having a balance between work/life four years ago. Then this alumni came to speak in JC about how the work/life balance is not for us, that we could push the boundaries and push ourselves more. I thought that sacrilege to my philosophies then.

But now I wholeheartedly agree with him. There is no mutually exclusive division between work and life. Life is life. Life consists of work, play, cook, eat, sleep. I'll do what I have to do and I'll want to do it well. It doesn't matter whether I like it or not, usually emotions give way to practicality. I could do 'work' the whole day and not get 'out-of-balance'. I could also go out and play the whole day and enjoy it. As long as I do what I have to do when I have to do it.

For now, its my heavy work period. I have this guilt when I don't do what I'm supposed to do. I'm not stressed, stress happens when I put in effort and don't perform. Stress happens when I can't seem to get it right. Stress happens when I don't and can't seem to understand.

This isn't stress, this is just life. =)

Today my Flash crashed on me. Twice. You know that feeling of an hours work gone? After that I hit ctrl-s every ten seconds.

I've seriously been very very busy. This is the more computer graphical part of my work. Still lots more to go... ;)

I'm so happy finally got it down!

This is part of my assignment, isn't my work the coolest? ;)