It's December 21 yet I still havent got the Christmas "FEE-ling". Heheh.

Every year the little kid in me always gets a kick out Christmas. I used to begin looking forward to it from October onwards. Every year there was always this one special moment which kick-started the holiday spirit. Sometimes its a familiar jingle over the radio. Sometimes its seeing the tinsel in tastefully decorated stores. Many times its been Orchard road. Ah I remember being a young kampung girl back then and only hearing wishfully of older friends spending their Christmas in magical Orchard where it 'snows'.

I still am that little kid. I still want to see the decoration, smell the wonderful smells. In fact, deep deep down I miss Singapore and my loved ones there dearly.

Anyway, this year has been a little different. I travel less now, so I spend more time in Segamat where Christmas is...well lets just say I've yet to see a christmas tree in a public location. I used to come back earlier so there was always something to be involved in at church with the youth. This year sadly there is nothing much going on. I do miss the carefree laughter and good times we had together. Sadly too, this year, many of the youth of my year are not able to return. There are little events to look forward too, little events in which I enjoy working together with the church community. And to top it all of, I'm still waiting for that magical moment.

Yet on the other hand, this year has been more 'Christmas' then past years. Because I'm spending so much more time with family, after all, what else is more important? Although perhaps this year I will most likely not get the 'feeling', in the end it doesnt really matter. As long as we can all spend some time together. Perhaps the only thing I could wish for is to see a special someone for christmas.

I hope everyone will rediscover the joy of salvation this season no matter how you spend your christmas. :)

After all thats been said and done, I thank God for his sustenance and faithfulness towards my relationship, family and friends.

I came across this meaningful poem on the wall of a dear friend's room. I hope you'd be blessed as well. :)

I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said "NO"
He said it was not for him to take
away
But for me to give up 

I asked God to make my
handicapped child whole,
And God said "NO"
He said her spirit is whole
Her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said "NO".
He said that patience is a byproduct
of tribulation,
It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said "No"
He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said "NO"
He said, "Suffering draws you apart
from worldly
cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit
grow
And God said "No"
He said I must grow on my own,
But he will prune me to make me
fruitful.

I asked God to help me love others
As much as He loves me,
And God said, "Ah, finally you
have the idea."

The main reason I never watch our korean/jap/taiwan romance dramas is because of the unrealistic expectations they set. Perhaps its that transition from courtship to comfortable companionship. Maybe I'm not ready for the settling down yet.

Difficult...lonely.

Fireflies by Owl City

I've seldom been a big music follower, but here is one song that I came across that really jumped out at me. Perhaps its the light, stereosonic-like intro which slowly builds into a gentle piano n which builds n builds further until when it hits the top, you're soaring along with the song. And something about the way they vary the dynamics is very unique. Perhaps its the futuristic sounds combined with the piano. Then there's the breathy finish. I love the arrangement.
I love love LOVE the video too! I think this must the first music video I really love. I like the concept of using a single room and everything come alight in accordance with the song. And using toy robots which come alive with the song, complementing the cutesy robotic tones of the song too. I feel like the excitement really built up for the opening of the closet door. =) I like how they didnt do a literal interpretation of fireflies. I like how the lights begin flashing, the camera shaking at the climax, then the breathy slow finish, everythng died down too.
I don't get the lyrics. But thats its appeal I guess, some randomness sewn together.

Embedding disabled, so go watch it on youtube ;)

No matter how much support you have, no matter how many people to hold you accountable, in the end you're still fighting your own battles.

My dear blog, I've been ignoring you.
Well, maybe I will share about my crazy lemon cravings lately.I think its because of the recent heat wave. It all started when hungry me was walking by this quaint tart shop. One bite into their lemon-passionfruit tart and I found pastry heaven. The sweet crispiness of the pastry, with a buttery kick paired perfectly with the soft and tangy centre. Perfect summer dessert. So begin my lemon cravings. I found myself licking cut lemons the other day. And I add lemon to everything, yogurt, pasta, fish...I even made lemon cheesecake.

Ah but its so hot lately, and I don't wanna eat something heavy on a hot day. That will only make me all the more lethargic. I wanna try this Lemon Mousse recipe!

And with the extra lemon curd, I'm gonna make that magical Lemon Tart.

Oh maybe a lemon mousse may be too cream-heavy. Maybe another option for light lemon dessert would be Lemon Souffle!

Oh and one thing I've been meaning to tackle are gooey choc-chip cookies! I've never been good at making cookies. I cant seem to get them the way I want. With my tendencies to wing-it, my cookies always fail - either spread too much, burnt outside,uncooked inside, too crispy, too brittle...well I've never tried the soft-centred ones so I will want to try this Choc Chip Cookie recipe before I go back. =)

Oh dear with all my ambitious plans to bake, whos gonna eat? =)

Shhhh...don't tell my guy, but I've been having marriage on my mind a lot lately *nudge nudge wink wink* ;)

Not that I can't wait to get married, mind you. I'm not the type of girl who would plan out my dream wedding down to the last detail. Well, true, I did think I'd be married in my early 20s. But that was because I always thought people will get their act together and be ready in their early 20s. Boy was I wrong.

Relax, dear, I'm not in a hurry to tie the knot or trying to pressure you to 'commit long term or get out'. Hehe ;)

Nope, I'm thinking more about the purpose of relationships. What are the characteristics of a God-centred relationship. How can I glorify God through my relationship. How can we edify each other. How do I know if he's The One. How will I know when I'm ready, we're ready...Then it's not just the big-picture questions, but also the little little ones, like, how can I be a submissive wife, how can I be a Godly wife, how to handle arguments, disagreements in a Godly way, how to resolve this issue or that issue the Godly way...

I guess when I prayed for God to lead the relationship, I never thought He'd show me all these issues. Its kinda overwhelming, but at the same time I'm kinda eager to discover what it means and how to glorify God in this aspect of life.

Hey any long-time/short-time couples out there who have advice for me? I'm all ears =)

Oh, Congratulations to a certain funkymonkey out there! A good friend and a sister, her journey is always encouraging and inspiring! I'm so happy for you! :D :D :D

The Gift I Bring You Today
By Gloria Gaither, a book of simple prayers.

The Gift I bring you today, Lord
Is not easy for me to give.
Oh, not because I don't want you to have it,
I do.
But becuase it is in pieces and scattered all over my life.
If it were in one neat chunk, it would be easy.
But at this point, I'm quite sure I can't even find them all-
and some pieces are such strange shapes
I'm not sure I'd even recognise them to give You.
Si I'm giving You the pieces I see and recognize,
the ones I can identify.
And I'm giving you my pledge:
If You'll help me find the rest of the pieces-
no matter how long it takes
or how deeply embedded they are
in the fabric of my days-
I will give You those, too.
Is that something You'll accept?
It's sort of a gift on the installment plan, I guess.
And like an installment, You own it and have it coming.
Please search my heart
and know that it is my true desire
to give You all of it.
My gift to You, Jesus, is control.
Save me from the influence of a world, a time and a culture
that brainwash me daily in every way
to believe that being in control,
taking control,
and never losing control,
is the only way to live.
I know that instead it is the quickest way to die.
It is the Eden story all over again.
Today, Lord, take control of my life.
I give You all the control I can find.
Help me find it all and give it with joy.
Amen.

Sometimes I do feel emotionally down. For reasons too personal to share.
I thank God for being the anchor in my tumultuous life.
I think I need a good cry.

This is for my baby back in Singapore. I was hearing this song on the radio this morning and it just warmed my heart. Makes me miss you so. =)



(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

(Bridge)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

Just wanna say I really appreciate you. =)